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Having seen this letter in a paper from New Zealand, I felt inclined to comment. It has been entered into the public domain, therefore available for comment and is an example of the great “misinformation society” that we live in.

The letter is as follows and is titled "A Joke"

There are liable parents who have chosen to leave New Zealand and their children, specifically to avoid paying child support. No one pushes them out. They choose to go. They have no one to blame but themselves if they miss out on their children’s lives.

The whole system is a joke and full of anomalies. Here is an example.

If the liable parent conceals his or her earnings and assets by putting them in their new partner’s name, they cannot be assessed by the IRD for child support payments.

In a situation where the custodial parent is not receiving the due child support, is unable to work due to cancer, his or her new partners earnings are considered when assessing for a sickness benefit, even though this sickness benefit is for the upkeep of children in lieu of uncollected child support.

While these liable parents bask in anonymity is Australia, it is our children who are missing out

Genevieve D Long
St Martins

Now you may like to know why I choose to comment on this letter… The reasons are many and varied but I will give you my views anyway.

I am a liable parent who lives in Australia after shifting here after my split. I would love to say I made the move without being pushed. Sadly I can’t. Too many times in court fighting for access and some equity that, as a partner in marriage, I helped build. Equality in this forum is something I will only dream about.

In the end, I had a small windfall, winning some money on a radio station and I took the opportunity to have a break in Australia. By the time I had visited a couple of friends, I had a job if I wanted it and some renewed hope that I wasn’t as bad a person as had been made out in the courts. I returned to New Zealand and was again confronted by the court system

The lawyers fees were mounting and I went to see a renowned child psychologist to consider the effects of having an extended break in Australia. With the green light that no harm would come to the children by me heading over, I applied to the courts for access on a six weekly basis and later in the year a trip to Australia for the kids. This was immediately rejected and I was then accused of planning to kidnap my own children.

The next time in court was to divide the property. The final straw came when wanting to collect a guitar that my parents had given me for doing well at school, I was informed that I couldn’t have it because the children were using it. My decision was made at this point and a deal was brokered where everything went to my ex wife, except for my tools of trade and a small payout which was enough to cover the debts of the family (apparently I was the cause of these) I was left with a $20,000 lawyers fee. But I had a job, albeit in Australia and so I made the move.

Was I pushed? Well staying was, in my eyes, impossible… I had stood at my old house and listened while my ex wife, youngest child, on her hip, had thrown abuse at me and told my daughter that I was the worst person in the world. I still have no contact with her. Was I pushed? Maybe the question should be… Could I have stayed?

I had tried to come to some agreement as to payments. Within a very short time, these had changed and so I moved over to paying the IRD (Inland Revenue Dept, the collector of child support) they were tough but there were no hidden agendas or debatable issues. You are assessed and you pay. If you miss payments, you are penalized and interest is also charged. Tough and fair at the same time.

I still have a debt with the IRD. I have missed payments. My income is assessed; my earnings and assets can’t be hidden in my partner’s name. I get paid and that is my earnings. Assets are something I am working towards.

A couple of years ago, New Zealand and Australia signed a co-operation agreement. Now the Australian Tax Dept contacts me regularly. Anonymity? Hardly.

The point here is that misinformation creates distrust and it is letters like the above that enflame situations. The children read this information as in this letter and they consider it true. How is the liable parent ever going to create a happy relationship with their children with this type of misinformation?

We must separate out the differing areas. For anyone with cancer, this is a truly debilitating issue, but it is a separate issue to child support. While I can sympathize with the writer, I cannot go along with the intertwining of the two issues. Again, misinformation makes this seem like the same issue but a sickness benefit is another department to child support. Again, any children reading this letter would be getting the wrong idea.

Yes, our children are missing out, but they are missing out due to misinformation. If they were able to decipher the information they receive, then they may also be able to make informed choices but somehow I find this is not the case

To my kids, they think their mother is great. She is, she has done a fantastic job of bringing up our children. To that, she cannot be faulted. Yet here is a person that was a talented preschool music teacher. She ran a successful business taking preschool music groups. Mothers and kids would turn up by the hundreds to be a part of it all. They all came, they all paid… in cash. No taxes were ever paid here. All money in the back pocket. Spent on the niceties of life.

She is person who believes in the bible, in God, In sinners being punished... She demands justice and yet breaks the law.

We can all point the finger at others and complain, yet it is our own internal issues that create the most problems within ourselves. Instead of blaming “the system,” instead of creating distrust in society and spreading misinformation, we must start to look inside and find the true reasons for our own issues. It is never, out there. It is never another, it is our own viewpoint on life and while we harbor ill will and distrust, so it will be evident in everything we do… and it will affect us and those around us, including our most precious assets of all… our children

You may be wondering why I have written about the above letter. Well, I will come clean, The writer is my ex wife.

cheers... Bill Gray