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 | As I Was Saying...: Yes, you! |
 Isn't it funny when you talk to someone or ask a question of someone and quite a few people think that the conversation is directly about them.
Well this is about you. Of course the 'you' is the person I am talking about so if you aren't that person, then you can ignore this and go back to what you were doing before I interupted you
If not, then read on. If you consider that you are a person of good moral fibre, then you will feel inclined to reply...
I am quite a complex being, one could even say too complex for my own good and I admit that I aren't perfect... not by a long shot. I try and do my best and if people are in trouble, I will do my utmost to help, even to the detriment of my own responsibilities. That is my choice, not something I blame others for.
So I find it interesting when I ask a innocuous question the reaction it creates in others. Have I got a red cross on my forehead that says "warning, warning, stand clear!" or do I have such an incredible response mechanisim that defies belief?
Whatever it is, I am still in limbo and waiting for an answer. Do you find that, in everyday life? The answers are just short on substance or just don't happen at all?
I would like to say that I am not vindictive, hardly hold a grudge or are damning in my approach... maybe this is a sign that I am, or at least, too overbearing for some. I hope not, because that would defeat the purpose that I have set myself.
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Re: Yes, you! (Score: 1)
by lilliebet on Sunday, December 10 @ 10:05:30 CST
(User Info | Send a Message) http://lilliebet.com | To my mind, the thing is that people make up their minds about us and will not be swayed from that assumption. Sometimes it's at first sight, often it's the first time we make a mistake but, either way, once we've painted ourselves in a bad light, there is often nothing we can do to change the other person's mind. So once they've made up their mind what kind of person we are, they expect us to always behave a certain way. No matter what we do, the other person sees our behaviour as fitting the pattern they've determined for us and trying to extracate ourselves from the mould becomes a self-defeating cycle.
So, yes, when people are suspicious of our actions, when they expect us to live up to their assumptions of us, they will see the worst in the most innocuous of comments and we find ourselves right back at square one trying to dig ourselves out of a hole.
Or is it simply that we don't see ourselves as others see us? What we see as an innocent remark or action looks so much different when seen through other eyes. How often do we find ourselves gobsmacked by others' reactions?
But all of this is human nature... we've all stood on both sides of this particular fence often enough. The thing to remember is... "shit happens"... it's how we deal with it that makes the difference. What we don't do enough - any of us - is communicate. Instead of asking ourselves why the other person feels the way they do, perhaps we should start by asking them?
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