How did you find the concept of living in the Present? What happened during the week when you were conscious of being in the present?
So as you can see by the examples, there is a lot to be said for this “being in the Present” “Perfecting the Present” I am reading a book at the moment called “Clients Forever” and it is working the idea that for anyone to be successful in what they do, they must create relationships rather than sell things or make things. If you can create this relationship, you will have a client for life, whatever your profession or career.
As you can imagine, the idea sounds great in theory and moving onto putting the idea into practice, well that’s another story… or is it?
The book explains the idea of creating this relationship. It first of all asks you to clear yourself up, get yourself in the present, get clear on who you are… in other words, Become SELFish and Be in the Present.
Now I want everyone to hold your hand out in front of you, palm upwards, fingers gently curled up, as if you are holding a big lump of dough. Now in this hand is all the reasons under the sun why you don’t live the life you wish, all the reasons why you don”t live in the present, all the reasons why you don’t live SELFishly.
These are ideas like…
Its just the way I am
I”m still better off than most people
Well, I”m happy, aren’t I?
I”ll be able to retire early
How do you know, anyway?
Its not worth being too successful, you pay too much tax
are you starting to get the idea???
So all those ideas, excuses and the like are cupped in your hand right now. What I want you to do is to now, holding your hand as if its holding all these ideas, put it over your face, clamp it on and look out at the view. Pretty difficult, aye?
You see, that’s how we are looking at the world, through all these ideas. Its like, as you can see, there are plenty of dark spots blocking the view
All those dark spots are getting in the way of perfecting in the present.
So lets get down and personal
What are some examples of these dark spots in your life?
they are like the tentacles of a squid stuck on your face, sure you pull a few off but before you know it, they have crept back up on there
get a few examples
Now lets have a look at removing a few of these tentacles stuck on our face, how do we do this? What if we were to work them with some coaching?
Get a coaching situation and coach it. explain as we go along, about action, about the coaching process and continue the coaching to a result of action to move forward from the example to handle it. As you can see, what we are hoping to achieve is moving from reacting to the situation with guns blazing, using the squid stuck on our face through to responding (without tentacles) to what is really there.
This brings us to the third part of being attractive – reactive v responsive
Lets look at these two words, what would be some examples of the two??
discuss the ideas that come up
People respond with their soul, their inner self, people react with their mind. People respond when they have time and there is no threat (or at the earliest stages of a threat) People react when its too late. You know its a response when you have plenty of time to make changes, to correct something, to protect yourself or to create something. If its instinctive, its a reaction likely based on some threat
Reaction: What happens automatically following a stimulus
Response: What happens after you have time to ask a question and act consciously
Over-response: What happens when you shape your response to address the deepest causes of what has happened or what you have felt
Action Steps to Take:
When you find yourself in reaction, involve yourself in it fully. Go to “wow, what is this”? Be curious like a child in a candy store. Move into the observation to learn more about yourself.
Notice how often you react vs. respond. What kinds of things cause you to be reactive?
Consciously over-respond to either a problem or an opportunity.
Be prepared to share the results of your work with the class.