The Beers are getting warm

Written by  on June 22, 2006 

In Australia it is tradition. To be the owner of a beer fridge not only shows your standing in the community but it also offers a shrine to the long line of beer fridge owners who have carried on this tradition since the beer fridge was invented.

A couple of weeks ago, mine broke. The only part that worked was the freezer part, the part that kept the Jack Daniels cold enough and the icecubes in that cube form for dropping in the Jack Daniels to make it colder. (oh and it also keeps the dogfood frozen)…’, ‘The Beer, meanwhile just got warm. Sacrilege! Within days, opening the door was like getting a spray with warm seweage, it stunk. Life was going from bad to worse.

Now finding a beer fridge is like finding hens teeth. They are few and far between. No one in their right mind would part with one. Well that was until I went into the local fridge shop to see about a brand spanking new fridge. To the experienced beer fridge owner, one would know that a beer fridge is supposed to be old, its too poncy to have a new one and it flies in the face of tradition but here I was entertaining this very fact. It must have been my lucky day as I was looking all forlorn and the sales person obviously knew my plight and before long he offered me one he personally had at his place for 100 bucks. See the tradition lives!!!

Now we arranged the pick up under the cover of darkness. He wanted to remain anonymous and I didn”t want it to be too obvious that I was missing one. He lived about 20 km from me and I was under the impression that the merchandise would fit into the back of my wagon so I was very surprised to find that after all the pushing and manovouring that it would only just squeeze in with more than half the fridge sticking out the back door.

That”ll do, I thought and tied the door down and hoped like hell that everything would be fine. I was more worried about being pulled over and my secret being found than the fridge actually falling out the back but thats what happens when you are under pressure, you don”t think straight.

I took the first 100 meters fairly slow until I was convinced it was all ok and then I booted it down the road. Now I don”t know if you have ever driven down the road with your back doors open but the fumes are automatically sucked into the car along with the freezing cold air from outside and being the middle of winter and my heater on the blink, it wasnt long before I was in extreme danger of hypothermia and that wouldn”t have been a good look. Also, in the process of booting it down the road, my load shifted considerably towards the back leaving it only a few inches from disaster. I figured that if I braked heartily, I could fix the loading problem and to my surprise it actually worked. The unit slide in further than before and the trip was now close to half over. Thank God, as the fumes were overbearing.

I coughed and splutted my way home and it was with great pleasure when I turned into my place. I had got home without being discovered. It didn”t take long to realise I was in strife. Whatever I tried, the fridge had become a permanent fixture in my vehicle. The slide forward having wedged it firmly in and there was no way I could budge it. I would have to seek help… No Way!

The next half an hour was spent with all sorts of objects that looked like they may be designed to remove an errant beer fridge from a vehicle. Slowly, inch by inch I made progress. Damage was minimal, well, accept for the last part where there was a parting of the ways and the fridge fell out collecting the towbar on the way… bugger, dent in the side but, hey, its well hidden against the wall, isn”t it?

This new fridge is wider than my last one and doesn”t fit in the space between the washing machine and the wall so it sits out, as a shrine should, in the middle of the room. If you aren”t desperate, you can squeeze between it and the wall to get to the toilet.

Best of all, its cold! and so are the beers. Life returns to normal!!!

Category : Light hearted

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