How much value do you put on yourself? One thing I can guarantee, no matter how much, it isn’t enough. I’m not talking insurance here either, although it would be valid to say that you are probably under-insured as well.

Values are defined in the dictionary as…

valued, valuing, values

1. To determine or estimate the worth or value of; appraise.

2. To regard highly; esteem. See Synonyms at appreciate.

3. To rate according to relative estimate of worth or desirability; evaluate: valued health above money.

4. To assign a value to (a unit of currency, for example).

I would like to clarify values further…

It takes effort to hold yourself back. The amount of effort taken will be reflected in the difficulties you are presently having in your life. Now think about that for a moment…

The amount of effort taken to hold yourself back will be reflected in the amount of difficulty you are experiencing right now, in your life.

Our true values, once defined and acknowledged, will pull us toward them. They are actually a part of us. Our destiny, so to speak… and before you think I’m getting all new age or unreal, just have another think about all this

If we were to value ourselves more, what would that mean to us?? Think about that and come up with a short answer. The fact that you come up with an answer shows that you are capable of more and you know it. We all know that we deserve more. Well let’s value ourselves and get what we deserve.

OK, that’s easy to say, don’t you agree? It’s easy to say… “Ok, I’ll value myself more”. It’s actually a skill you have to learn, to accomplish it.

There are many people around who say “oh I couldn’t do that” lower themselves by saying “I’m always forgetful” or “That’s me, always mucking up” Each of these is an example of us, trying to hold ourselves where we are. Every statement that makes less of ourselves is an attempt to hold us in this place of mediocrity. This place where, we look upon ourselves, as less than what we should.

There is just no need to justify a mistake by reinforcing the mistake with an affirmation to the effect that we “always do it” Another way to look at this is that the affirmation actually creates the environment for a mistake to happen. It’s what you are agreeing to, you are expecting it and reaffirming it with each statement. That’s why it’s happening. You create it!!!!

Now if we go about saying we always make mistakes and we do, then I am suggesting that we begin to always value ourselves and then do it. Expect a different thing. Like I said, it’s a skill we are able to learn. You want to catch yourself affirming mediocrity and change the behavior. It’s just not doing you any good.

Sure, you may make a mistake, you may be affected by some affliction or disability of body, mind or spirit, but while you concentrate on the reasons why you can’t do something, you will never find the reason why you can.

You may be scared, you may be fearful. There may be a thousand reasons why you shouldn’t, but if you want to, then why not go and do it? I’m not even talking about anything that may be illegal. We would all trust that we are of the responsibility that it doesn’t require us to become irresponsible.

Now value is a two edged sword, and a double gift. As well as valuing yourself you must also value others. If you value yourself and forget about others then you run the risk of being considered self centered and only interested in yourself. This drives people away. So, as you can see, you are walking a tightrope but the results are truly astounding.

To value another will buy you more brownie points than you can imagine and these brownie points will pay back, in more people valuing the things that you do. Once you get the snowball rolling, it picks up its own momentum and grows by itself. All you are required to do is keep valuing yourself and others.

Don’t fall into the trap of valuing others by your standards either. Value them for what they do that is of value. You might be able to peel 1000 potatoes in a hour whereas old Pete Smith down the bench from you may do only 100, but that 100 is 100 less that you have to do. There is a value there, although we can choose to say that Pete is slacking. The fact is that, if he is slacking and you point it out, then he is hardly going to work harder. Bolster him up, value his input and suddenly you find he’s up to 200.

Now this is true value, not some false lip service to get some more production. Actually find something that you value and tell them about it. There are just too many people around that are quick with the tongue when it comes to finding something wrong but when it’s going right, there is not a whimper from them. Think about that?. Think about the things you do, that never rate a mention, but stuff up, however slightly, and suddenly the world wants to tell you about it.

It’s a scam to keep everyone down and guess what? We are all the conspirers, just by not valuing ourselves and others.

Now if you are struggling with this idea about telling someone what you value in them, if you have the idea that they will think ill of you, what’s going on??… You know damn well that you love hearing good reports about yourself. You know damn well that others like hearing good stuff about them too. So get over the embarrassment and do something that you will both get a reward from.

These put downs in life are all too common. They are unnecessary and they cause heartbreak. They have placed you in this position where you feel that you can’t point out another’s value for they may think less of you. You are placed in a position where your own worth is being questioned…. By yourself

Its time to make a concerted effort to respect and value others so that they may also value all that is of value. There is so much to value around our lives. So make a change. Stop concentrating on the imperfections and find the good points. Stop shunning people because of their mistakes and acknowledge the great things they do. For every one does something of value and you can either recognize it or continue to dwell on the small stuff that keeps you in this twilight zone of miscomprehension and mistrust

Go on, be brave; you might even enjoy the experience

Until next week

Have a good one

cheers… Bill

Bill Gray

Bill is a Business Coach. Working with Individuals, Businesses and Organisations to create better environments and to develop and enhance business ”potential”, into successful business practices.

Sydney, Australia

Ph +61 413 949 521

Copyright ©Bill Gray All Rights Reserved 2004.