A Lesson Learnt

Written by  on August 27, 2004 

Well what a good week it has been. There is a feeling that spring is in the air. (not that we have had a winter) The days are becoming longer and there is a definite warmth in the air. This all adds up to help the spring in your step as you go about your day. Living “down under” means that while our hemisphere rolls toward summer, the northern hemisphere heads towards winter.

The Olympics

The Olympics have been going for nearly 2 weeks now and what a plethora of events. Human endeavor is put up on the screen for all to see and for every hard luck story there is one of persistence and the overcoming of extreme odds… and that was just getting to participate…

We may like or dislike sport but the human achievement by individuals and teams alike are examples of what is required to make it to the top in any field. None of these people have just pulled on a pair of runners and run the marathon. They have prepared for months, years, for this one day when all the preparation, everything, must come together for gold, silver or bronze or the distinction of having competed.

Life, you gotta love it

Earlier this week, my son arrived at my door at 9am in the morning after a 15 hour motorbike ride traveling down from the upper end of Australia. He was heading back home to New Zealand and he wanted to stay a few days before heading back. After he caught up on some much needed sleep we sat down to a conversation about what has been happening in our lives in the last year.

I had been dreading this time as we had never managed to find any common ground and I can say that I always tried too hard. The difference this time was that he had initiated this one. We started off apprehensively, but were able to move forward this time and although we have a way to go, the wish to make it work is mutual and we will make it.

I was told a long time ago that our kids always want to have a dialogue with their parents and the only thing that stops this happening is that the parents are too sensitive or won’t accept responsibility for their part in the breakdown. I was determined to make sure I wasn’t one included in this statistic. In my mind, I continued to find reasons why it wasn’t my fault, in my heart I knew that it was.

The conversation was about the past. Things that had happened and I learnt a very valuable lesson. When you are able to accept full responsibility for those events or should I say when you accept full responsibility for how others view those events you will suddenly find that the air clears and a path appears that allows you to move forward.

Truth is a funny thing; ask ten people what happened at the scene of an accident and you will get ten versions. Every single person will be convinced they are telling the truth. This is where truth differs from the actual event. The actual event is what happened, the account of what happened is affected by so many differing sets of circumstances that we are left with versions of the actual event.

My son and I have different versions of the same event and its important not to loose sight of what we were having this conversation for. We both wanted to move forward, make a fresh start and pick up on the good things we are able to offer each other. With this goal in mind, why try and correct the version of truth about a situation that happened in the past, especially as it made no difference to the outcome we were currently working on

This is where you accept full responsibility for how others view those events you will suddenly find that the air clears and a path appears that allows you to move forward. By not trying to change his view and being brave enough to say that I had faults, he was able to relax enough to actually start acknowledging that there were many good times.

Have you learnt your lesson?

Well this week has turned up a few interesting happenings and it brings up the question of when is it that the lesson is finally learned?

A common idea is that things keep happening to you until you learn the lesson. When the lesson is taken on board you are no longer the effect of the situation and you can move on.

The reason my son ended up on my doorstep was because of a set of bad luck events that made him question where he was going in life. (We’ve all had that happen, haven’t we?)

It’s not necessarily that we have to read more or find out more but it is necessary to personally make a change that would take steps to handle the lesson (or learn from it). If your car keeps running out of petrol, you would start to take steps towards making sure you always had a full tank or at the very least, carry a can of extra fuel. If not, you will continue to run out and be stranded. You learn or it keeps happening

This actually spawns across all of our life. Those areas where “bad luck” keeps us from winning, the areas where we keep stuffing it up, are just examples of where we need to make a change to keep the fuel tank full.

Now I want to stress that it isn’t someone else’s job to make the changes. Its not a situation where you can say “If he stopped siphoning out my petrol from my tank, my life would be perfect” That may be true but there are so many things you can do to stop this happening and to rely on another just simply won’t cut it these days. If someone is stealing your fuel, then you had better get a lock for the tank or park your vehicle in a different spot or do something to rectify the situation otherwise you will always have that empty tank. Waiting for someone else to act is usually a very long and tiresome lesson to have to go through.

Also notice that this is an action that is carried out. Changing your mind will not really full up the tank or keep it full. There will always be action and a “doingness” not just a thought.

The Magician’s Way

I have to say that this would be one of the most inspiring books I have read in a while. If you are after a great read with a strong message. It follows the theme that allows you to start to take charge of your destiny and suddenly you find that what you believe in can come true.

Besieged by financial and marital turmoil, Mark Vale meets a group of contemporary alchemists who take him on a bewildering journey outside his comfort zone, teaching him how to transform confronting situations into golden opportunities. He is astounded to discover that the biggest impediment to this creative process is everything he has learned before. The more he lets go of what he thinks he knows, the more he is taken over by an inner wisdom that begins elevating him to higher and higher levels of creative ability. His initiation into magic appears complete when he manifests a massive financial windfall, but it soon becomes apparent that his material success will not be enough to hold his family together. With his world seemingly crumbling around him, Mark embarks on the ultimate quest to uncover what it takes to manifest the precious things in life that money can’t buy.

All the details can be found at The Magician’s Way website.

Until next week

Cheers… Bill

Bill Gray

Bill is a Business Coach. Working with Individuals, Businesses and Organisations to create better environments and to develop and enhance business ”potential”, into successful business practices.

Sydney, Australia

Ph +61 413 949 521

Copyright ©Bill Gray billgray.biz All Rights Reserved 2004.

 

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