As I Was Saying…

What is it about Steak Knives?

by Bill Gray

…and another thing, why would you need two sets? If I was one of the next 50 people to call in with my credit card details, they will send me, not one, but two sets of beautifully crafted steak knives… well there a challenge I thought to myself so I rang

The nice girl on the other end wasn’t very obliging; I thought it was a great idea… “So instead of giving me two sets of these quality crafted steak knives…”

“Ah that’s beautifully crafted, the quality is in the blade” she broke in

(What! Where did that come from? Oh well…)

“Well what I was thinking is that as I only need one set and you are offering two…”

“We are offering the second set FREE if you buy the first set using your credit card”

(That’s even better, I thought, I’ll take the second set then… but I used different words when I spoke…)

Yes I understand that, but I only need one set” I politely stated

“That’s $69.95, what credit card do you want to put it on”

“Well yours will do fine” I replied, tongue in cheek

“heh heh”

(I could tell she was in no mood for my jokes)

“What I was actually ringing about was, as I didn’t need two sets, maybe you could give me one set for half price?” My charm would surely get a further 10% discount.

“I’m sorry sir the recommended retail price for these quality crafted…”

(Wasn’t that supposed to be beautifully crafted…?)

She carried on, “these quality crafted steak knives is $110 dollars”

“Yes, that’s why I thought that you would be able to give me one set for $35 dollars” Surely she was starting to crack

“Yes sir, I understand what you are saying but that’s not the way it works, if you buy one set you get the second set FREE.”

“Well I don’t need the second set, maybe if you send me one set, I might be interested but that would depend on the price.”

“The Price is $69.95 and you get the second set for FREE”

“Can I return the second set if I am not completely satisfied?”

You can sir, but you would also have to return the first set to receive the refund.

(But what if I liked the first set?)

“I’m sorry sir, I have just been informed that we have reached our limit of 50 callers, you have missed out on the second FREE set, but you can now purchase one set for $69.95”

“Ah, no thanks, the price has just doubled”

The same advertisement came on again.

“Yes, the first fifty callers mentioning this ad (oooohh that’s different from before) will get a second set of steak knives absolutely FREE.”

“Hmmm maybe I do need that second set?”

…Just a thought

cheers, Bill


Copyright ©Bill Gray All Rights Reserved 2005.