To Tolerate or not to Tolerate?
What do I mean, tolerate, don’t we have to tolerate things in our lives? Well I say, maybe not!
You see, tolerations (those things that we tolerate) are great energy suckers, good time blockers, all round bad guys! I would go as far as saying that if we cleared up a few, we would feel far better than we do right now. I would compare these to the viruses and spyware that we get on our computers, only they aren’t in the computer, they are in us! You know how annoying pop ups are, well the same thing applies to tolerations, they pop up and slow down the action you are on as you have to deal with them. Once you have rid your computer of these pop ups then you are able to operate your computer at full speed. This applies to you as well.
I first came across these pesky little blighters when I was doing my Coach Training and had a hard time trying to get my head around the fact that these tolerations caused so much turmoil. I am the type that says, “She’ll be right, mate” and it usually was. When I finally agreed to clear a few up, the change was as dramatic as it was immediate. I felt great. So what are these tolerations?
Tolerations are anything that you are tolerating. Full Stop! Anything at all, that you are tolerating. The best suggestion I can make is to write them down, make a list of all the things that hack you off, all the things that cause you angst, all the things that cause you concern. Then start working on clearing them up. Quite a few of them, you can clear up just by changing your mind, some you have to do some work and some will be a great deal of work. Start with the easiest first and get rid of them. As you clear them up, notice how you feel and how good life starts to be. Think you need drugs or a fix of some sort, try this!!!
Here is the first eight off my list;
Things I am tolerating;
Carpet needs cleaning
Shoes are worn out
Car is filthy dirty
Owed money by people
Owe people money
Need to finish website
Send out invoices for web hosting
Now how easy is that? Carpet needs cleaning, $96 for the living room plus hall and two bedrooms… that’ll do me. Shoes are worn out, need to get some more money. Clean the car, took 2 hours, inside and out. Boy, I had forgotten the color. Car seems to go better. Owed money, now that’s a little harder, actually have to ring someone on the phone. What, the check is ready to be picked up? Cool, I’ll come around and get it… now for them shoes! I’ve also got enough to pay a couple of bills. Not fit, go for a run, really stiff after that, next time only walk the 7km circuit. Website, two hours and its well under way. lookin’ good. Send out those invoices, looking forward to the money!!
That’s eight items and I feel productive, energised and happy. Something occurred that feels good.
Ok, your turn. It’s actually quite easy and the difference made is incredible. I dare you to try it!!! What’s more, you get a few things that need to be done, finished and out of there.
Oh and another thing about tolerations.
Dealing with these tolerations is a skill. Anyone can do it so don’t fool yourself into thinking that something you are tolerating has to be put up with. Like confidence, which grows as we become more familiar, so do tolerations become acceptable, the longer we live with them. The fact is that these toleration cause us strife. The skill is being brave enough to say “No More” and then doing something about it. You have far better things to do than tolerating. Writing down your tolerations, every single one of them, will give you a start. It is amazing how stating what you are tolerating creates the impetus to get started. Also writing them down clarifies the ones you require to deal with first.
If you are serious about making changes, then deal with the source of it. Where does it come from and what will it take for you to be rid of it forever?
Well that brings this week’s article to a close. Coaching is a way of encouraging people to take steps for their own benefit. When you do this, you gain a self confidence that snowballs (in other words, it’s something that is hard to stop and grows upon itself) In most cases it is a matter of subtracting the amount of “stuff” we have going rather than adding to it. Instead of trying to find another way to fit something in, look at ways to reduce the amount of “stuff” going on. Deleting tolerations are one way of doing this.
On a lighter note…
Isn’t it great how we can sort out our differences over a beer? Maybe if politicians could learn this skill, the world would be a more peaceful place. Instead they are of the belief that diplomacy is the art of saying “nice doggie” until they can find a rock
Bill is a Business Coach. Working with Individuals, Businesses and Organisations to create better environments and to develop and enhance business ”potential”, into successful business practices.
Ph +61 413 949 521
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