We are a pretty sociable group, us humans. We love a good laugh and we all think that we never have enough good times. We enjoy good company and we do our best to make a good impression. Most of all we love a compliment and we all think that we should get more of them!
Why is it that the seriousness of life gets in the way of happy times and enjoyment? If we all want more compliments, how come we aren” ”t getting enough of them? Seems strange that with everyone wanting a compliment or two regularly, that there seem to be so few about!
Now there are many ways to approach life…. Let’s look at two of these. This is a fairly two dimensional approach but you’ll get the idea…
Firstly, we can go around as we do right now. This is the easiest approach to life there is… doing just as we are. This requires no changes, no specific effort of any kind except for the effort you are well used to in your life right now. This is familiar, easy and requires no thought. The majority of us will keep on doing this for all our lives despite trying different things. We are comfortable doing this. We may wish to have a different result in our life but the ease of this familiarity takes its toll and we slip back into this life style shortly after attempting any change
The second approach requires one or two changes but the rest happens
you rather than you having to do the work…
“Sure” I hear you say. Yes I am sure, if fact I guarantee it.
There are two parts to this “new” you and the goodwill you will attract is awesome. Of course, in most cases, this isn’t instant. For a start, most people you know will be a little suspect of your new approach. Persistence is required, even for this simple change.
The two parts are simply this. Be genuine. Compliment.
Now lets take the first part. Be genuine. There is no point in making this into a trait of yours unless you are genuine. People will pick you a mile away. If you are just giving them lip service they will know. Be smart and find something you genuinely find attractive about that person and say so. Compliment them on it (that’s the second part of my scheme for you to make friends and influence people)
Suddenly you will start to see a new world open up. Suddenly people take notice of you. Suddenly people want to be around you. Now why is this?
Let’s go back up to the start of this conversation. Everyone enjoys being complimented and the majority will tell you that they don’t receive enough compliments. Well imagine what happens when someone starts genuinely complimenting them. They want to be around this person… wouldn’t you?
As you can see the effects are quite considerable but, in fact, you have done very little in the way of changing your life style or the way you live life. This doesn’t require and huge exercise program or new fangled diet. You don’t even have to make a life change in any way except for reminding yourself to compliment someone and everyone in your life.
There is something else you can do that will also bring about a internal good feeling in your life. Find something to laugh about and laugh. Try being angry when you are smiling in the rain. Find a reason to think happy! This goes hand in hand with the compliments. In fact it compliments the compliments.
You will find that you will gain confidence if you concentrate on doing this. Confidence is infectious. When you gain some, it replicates, it grows and then you take bigger steps, deeper breaths and walk taller. The effect this has on others is also quite an experience. The attraction process goes into full swing and instead of wondering what you are going to do on a Saturday night; an invite from an unexpected quarter comes. You find that people want some of what you have got and they will want to know you because of it.
I must stress the importance of being genuine. Don’t be foolish enough to think that this is nothing less than the full tin of biscuits. In other words, if you are doing this to impress the girls, get the boy or to get a raise then you are missing the point entirely. These things will happen as a result of you being genuinely complimentary. The best way to get this concept is to think about what you feel when someone has been buttering you up to worm something out of you. It’s not a pleasant situation at all.
On the other hand… think about when you have received that unexpected compliment for something you did. Didn’t it just make you day? Talk about having a good one. You could have caught bullets in your teeth you felt so good.
Now put this into action. Notice someone doing something that is out of the ordinary, tell them exactly that… “I see you doing something out of the ordinary, wow, thanks for that. You have done well”
Look at the results. First of all that person thinks… “Hey someone noticed.”
They feel great and will certainly be keen to step up again. You also feel pretty good too… go on admit it. It was fun, and don’t you feel a little bit excited by the result?
Bill is a Business Coach. Working with Individuals, Businesses and Organisations to create better environments and to develop and enhance business ”potential”, into successful business practices.
Ph +61 413 949 521
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